Women and Balance

I am from a generation of women, with few role models before us (when younger) to guide and help in learning to balance all the demands of life, in an age where women were pursuing professional careers. Only prioritizing, focus, and strong faith brought me through such a time. Being a single Mom, with a philosophy that being a good mother was my primary purpose. This ideal really helped to guide and balance me. I knew in order to make a better life for me and my child, would require me furthering my education. This education (getting an MBA in the early 80's) would enable us to survive and be prepared to thrive. It would also enable me to command higher pay for greater expertise. Also being a naturalist this included making my own baby food as I didn't trust the off the shelf mass production stuff. I would study while making the baby food. l would pump while reading a book, and washing clothes, finish then work some more.

By this time the result of my prior work, I had become an expert in health insurance payments for all kinds of health and human service providers. It was a natural progression to start and manage my own business full time. This would allow me the flexibility to attend to my daughter's school to observe classwork, go on class trips, and show up unexpectedly. No way was I going to leave something as important as my child's education, up to a teacher I didn't personally know or have an idea of their values regarding children and education. So I showed up in class to see. I know this kept many a teacher on their toes. Occasionally, I would run across one or two that needed to be whipped into shape and become clear that this mom wasn't playing with her child's education. Although not intentionally, regrettably, I had a few teachers terminated, principals involvement in assessments, and a host of modifications like sending my 7th grader to Drexel University Math Diagnostics to be tutored by a college professor. This was to insure she got it. While I had an MBA, 7th grade math was challenging after so many years. The demands of self employment including writing proposals for funding, getting contracted work completed with quality, juggling multiple clients, balancing how many I could successfully handle at one time was truly a learning curve Forget a personal life. This was it. In all sincerity it was so rewarding. My child's education thrived, my business thrived, and while busy, there was never a dull moment, I was pleased with the outcome.

In efforts to overstand- how I could be most productive I sought advice from elders- usually male as at that time I knew few black women in business, who could advise me.. A few times I had an opportunity to sit with a wise and successful man known as the Father of Leaders, Mr. Sam Evans, founder of AFNA. What he told me something, I'll never forget. "We all have 24 hours in a day- 8 we spend working- 8 sleeping- 8 we need to be certain how we use this time. If you need extra time, take it away from sleep and be careful how we use the rest.  I interpreted this to mean, put the child to bed and work some more, throughout the night if needed. I follow his advise until this day. He also asked me, "What does living Holy mean". As I stumbled with my reply, he shook his head no, then Mr. Evans said, " living Holy means Higher Order Living- Yield". That made even more sense. From the wisdom of the elders.

Please review what a colleague Helen Tinsley, now working on her doctorate, has to say about Creativity and Balance as a woman.  http://theliterarytearoom.blogspot.com/2013/08/academia-vs-creativity-finding-balance.html -  Hope you gain insight into how to handle all this stuff.

Concerns facing African American Teens from a teen perspective!

July 31, 2013 written by Summer Intern for Asia’s Foundation

     Some concerns facing African American teenagers are the stresses of having the latest fashions clothes, shoes, etc.  If not some teens feel like they just don’t fit in.  It seems like most teens are dressing the same, wearing the same hairstyles and looking the same.  What's the difference? It’s OK to be different and stand out from what everybody else is doing, not having the ‘’follow the crowd mentality. ‘’Teens also think it’s important to be connected to certain people that seem well known and popular. They appear to have the outer trappings of success.  We need to be leaders. However, how do we lead? With iPhones, Galaxy cells, we have full net access, to whatever we want, with few limits. This enables us to seek to satisfy many curiosities, venturing into a parent’s unknown.  

     Another major concern females and males smoking weed. Some just to fit in because friends are doing it, or they feel pressured so just give in. Some teens smoke to relieve their stress. In, my opinion, there are other ways to relieve stress like talking situations out with a trusted friend or family member , exercise, biking, walking, music etc. As smoking weed can be a harmful substance to the body especially for still developing teens, with brain cells not fully developed is an unknown challenge. Teens often sell the weed to make quick money instead of working a job, as there are too few jobs, except fast food places. Some feel if they sell weed they can get quick money on the spot. But is it worth it?  Because it’s illegal, if you are caught, you’re doing jail time.  While understanding it’s hard, we mustn’t ever give up hope!  What must we do, keep Faith.  Keep Striving.

     Another big concern is early age pregnancy, and not fully ready to take on the responsibility of caring for a child, and needed supports. We aren’t able to take care of ourselves yet. Often there’s dependency on welfare, access cards, or WIC. This is making some teenagers lazy and not wanting to find a job because they become dependent.  I feel if you lie down and have a baby, you should have known it’s a huge responsibility to take on. As many fathers are not in their child’s life, this circumstance plays a big role for both girls and boys, as a child needs both parents in their life for balance. Physically, mentally and emotionally parents teach us right from wrong, values, behaviors. I think the reasons why some teenage moms have children early, is they aren’t getting the love they want, so they feel their child will give them this love. Another concern facing young African Americans is managing our money and knowing how to budget and spend wisely. For an example:  Have you ever gone into some urban neighborhoods and see Asian and Papi stores at the end of each block. They are there for one (1) reason to get your money. They know we are going to eat their unhealthy foods and buy their goods. 

      My point is young African American’s need to come together, develop entrepreneurial skills, develop business, and create more coalitions, instead of trying to fight and compete.  We shouldn’t spend money on things in reality we really can’t afford. Another concern of teens is expressing our true feelings and trusting people. When things get rough instead of holding whatever the situation, we can talk about it with someone we can trust. Holding the situation without getting feedback only makes it worse. We need to let things out with the ability to speak confidentially. Finally, a real big concern teen’s face is relationships. Some think their mate really loves them, and will be with them for a long time.  However, when things go wrong many do not know how to work things out, and fear letting folk know. Others are just ready to give up and move to the next person, as they really don’t know which way to turn. I think we are still so young, we do not know what we want or need yet, or what’s healthy and in our best interest. Don’t get me wrong there are some teen relationships that last many years. My point is, we must be careful with whom we get into relationship. What we think we want from a relationship might not be the same thing the other person seeks. That’s when conflicts can happen!

Imani

12^th Grade - Philadelphia Mennonite High School